Pride Goeth [Milliways]

[princeinexile]

His place was still clean; mostly because he had barely been here since she had seen him last. The dogs followed thme up, happily padded over to the pile of blankets, and dropped down into them once Zuko had reached a kitchen chair and sat down.

He gestured to the place. Katara was given free reign-- he simply sat, rested his head in one hand, and looked weary.

Comments

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

She feels as odd here as she did the last time. Out of place and unwelcome, even if he'd been the one to let her in. At least this time, the freedom of his apartment wasn't preceeded by false smiles.

Katara hesitates before the door, watching him carefully, thinking. How best to help him, what does he need right now? Only one glance told her that.

She moves toward the fridge - he needs food and drink first of all. She just hopes not all of his food is rotten.

[princeinexile]

This is The Magic Bar. Does anything really go bad here?

Don't answer that. Regardless, he has restocked. Isn't that nice. He doesn't seem, however, interested in what she's doing. She's just -- there, in his things.

Who cares, right?

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

Zuko does, she's certain. And it doesn't make Katara any more comfortable about being in his home.

There is some quiet puttering at his fridge before Katara starts to join him at the table. Quiet, hesitant steps quicken and a bowl of rice is set on the table before Zuko, two glasses of water following.

She sinks into the seat beside him, pushes her braid over her shoulder and gesture, drawing the contents of one of the glasses between her hands.

"...Okay," is said quietly, her eyes on him, hands and water still and waiting. "Just-- start. I'll work while you eat."

[princeinexile]

He sits and stares at the bowl of white rice before him, and the glass of water. "I'm not starving," he says despite the hollows at his cheeks. "I can eat."

Sometime.

But it's useless to argue. This simple thing is a painful chore now. But with her there, he can try.

The pain slithers into his throat, waiting to choke that first bite-- but he stoics it as much as he can. Mustn't appear weak! Not with her, not ever.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

It doesn't matter - she wouldn't ask him to tell her where it hurts. Katara hands rise and water flows, brushing the back of his neck. It takes a moment for the energy to travel the path of his qi, but Katara sucks in a soft breath and immediately puts her hands to his throat.

The pain is always somewhere new, somehow sharper to Zuko, but it is constant. Katara isn't used to this sort of torture and even while she works, sorting out the kinks and breaks and tears in his body, she winces from second-hand contact.

Still... her hands glow.

[princeinexile]

He works quickly-- the abatement is -- not total, but it's sort of like a drug haze. The pain is there, it simply doesn't bother him right this second. So the rice is cleared as efficiently as Zuko can manage.

Still a tidy eater, he dines quietly and drinks down water. Thankfully the food is simple enough that his often-hungry belly won't reject the sudden influx it's been missing.

"You can stop now," he says quietly.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

Katara isn't strong enough for this. While that's not surprising, not from that first touch with it weeks ago, it is frustrating. She makes a noise when he speaks, something upset but-- no, she can't fix this, she can barely abate it.

Her hands linger on his skin, fingertips brushing against his throat, but Katara leans back with a sigh. Without bothering to look at him first, she glances over at the bowl, then the clock.

That was awfully fast.

"I'll get you more," she says quietly, before standing and taking his bowl. He'll eat his fill tonight, and every other night he lets her help.

[princeinexile]

"No," he says with sudden vehemence. "You -- you don't feed the hungry to much, too quick. The stomach goes sour. They lose it all."

He doesn't want her mopping up his messes agian.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

"I barely gave you a cup of rice - I know you can take more than that." Her steps didn't even pause and she's already scooping more into the bowl, pushing the door to the fridge closed with her foot. "I'm already here and I'm not going to try and make you sick, so just-- don't fight me on this."

Not that fighting would stop her from trying anyway.

[princeinexile]

"Can we not push it?" Zuko says, too tired to make it forceful. "I don't want--" To be a filthy, weak mess covered in my own sick, dammit. "I don't want to test that limit, yet."

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

Those quiet steps stop, but not because she's reached the table. Katara's still several feet away, but now she's staring at the back of Zuko's head, brows up.

Zuko's never been too tired to be forceful. Not with her.

"...all right," is little more than a quiet murmur and the bowl clatters as Katara sets it back in the fridge. "But-- a little more water, okay? And then I'll go, I promise."

[princeinexile]

Zuko -- relents, nodding quietly. Water good. Water simple.... Water might still make him puke, but maybe she'll go by then and he can just doze in the bathtub or something.

"Alright," He says quietly, and waits.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

She attends him with no thought of pride involved. The glass is filled and handed to him and Katara slips back into her chair and draws water between her hands again.

"Okay," Katara says quietly, lifting the water and letting it curl around his throat. Another soft sound is made, but she swallows most of it back, eyes closing as she feels a fraction of his pain for him.

[princeinexile]

It slithers around his body-- when it's there in his throat, it can stop him from drinking.But her hands on there, making it less potent, so it moves downward, settling in the stomach and threatening to sour his hard-won food.

Zuko twitches once, but takes slow swallows of water, and let's Katara do as she must.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

It flutters through the water, down her fingertips, and Katara feels the ghost of his pain. It's there in her throat, then down in her stomach, and her hands follow that same line on his body. Her eyes have closed and she's leaned forward. How close she is to the person she's trying to heal only matters to a certain degree - touching him with her fingertips isn't much worse than putting her palms flat against his skin.

It lets her lean forward, though, and with the tightness at her belly coiling into a ball, putting a little pressure there isn't a bad idea at all.

[princeinexile]

The glass is shortly empty, and it is on the table with a hollow clink a moment later.

"It's alright. I'm finished."

You can stop now, and let his pain be his again.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

In any other situation, Katara would be arguing to keep going, to try and fix it for good. However, while Katara does like to insist she's indestructible, there are occasions where she knows she's--

Well, not beat. But she does lean back as soon as he's spoken, breathing deeply as her back hits the chair.

She's just going to sit there for a minute, all right? After she's gestured to push the water back into its glass.

[princeinexile]

Yeah. You do that, Katara. Zuko's going to get up-- the pain moves again, this time to his back, which has him bent over the sink a moment later holding himself up for support while he collects himself. But--

--then he's straight backed, stiff and still.

"Do you need to rest?"

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

She was resting. But now Katara's watching Zuko move, stiffen and hold himself over the sink. This is another feeling she isn't used to and certainly doesn't like.

"...No, I'm fine."

Thirty seconds of the pain he's felt for months and she's breathless. It's more than unacceptable - it's just wrong.

[princeinexile]

He stoics better then she ever will.

"Are you sure?"

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

Katara was never very good at stoic-ing.

"Yes. I'm fine."

The second he turns his back, she's flicking her wrist to get the sweat and salt of his skin out of her water. She needs a drink.

[princeinexile]

Mm, tasty.

He leans against the counter, looking awkward-- he finally turns his eyes from her, and is-- quiet, for now. Certainly, his brain is running fast and probably to all the wrong places, but that's Zuko for you.

"The healer never came," he says after long deliberation. "I think she gave up."

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

Half the glass is empty before he says that, and Katara lets it rest against her lips for a moment before glancing at him. With his back to her, it's easy enough to set the glass down, to put her full attention on him.

Only with his back turned.

"I can talk to her," she offers quietly, curling her hands around her glass. "Work with her, maybe. At least to find out exactly what was done to you."

[princeinexile]

"Why bother? The -- mending she considers will give me nothing at all. No pain for numbness. I'd rather have the pain, then-- nothing," he points out, fingers pressing against the countertop.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

"I wouldn't let her do that."

Ignore how insistant that was, how-- borderline protective.

"There has to be another way. If there's a way to make a curse, there's a way to break it."

[princeinexile]

"Quit trying to save me," Zuko says. "I'm no interested."

And he's not. He's just tired.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

"So?"

She's too out of her element and, yes, very tired, to make it a combative word or challenging or anything but just-- there.

"I never asked you to be interested."

[princeinexile]

Zuko leans against the counter still, keeping his back to her. He doesn't want to look at her, see the compassion or the pity.

"You can't help someone who doesn't want to be. Uncle tells me so all the time."

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

Katara isn't looking particularly compassionate or pitying. She's just tired, frustrated, and just-- conflicted.

While she sits at his kitchen table, drinking water. Her eyes drop when he speaks, water brushing her lips before she sets it aside and sighs. "Your uncle's right. You only let me help you when you're desperate and don't want to admit it."

[princeinexile]

He sneers at that, but she can't see it. She can probably imagine it.

"Not too desperate. Just tired of listening to you simper."

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

"Of course. You're not getting tired of starving. How silly of me to think so."

She rubs at her forehead, eyes closed, and the glass clinks when she sets it back down on the table. "...I don't want to fight with you today."

[princeinexile]

"I'm not starving. It's-- just hard to eat."

That's all.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

"Zuko, stop it!" Katara snaps, looking up at him sharply and dropping her hand to slam against the table. "You're not going to convince me that you're fine when I can see you haven't eaten and when I already know you're in pain. I don't want to fight with you, not even about your health."

[princeinexile]

Silence is the reward for her outburst -- Zuko turns around now; she won't snap and snarl if she has to look at him when she does it!

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

Why would he assume that when their snaps and snarls always started face-to-face?

The glare stays, her eyes narrowed and angry, but Katara does fall quiet when he turns to her. Breathing deeply, she slowly starts to relax, leaning back against her chair again.

She watches him and waits. The ball's in his court now, to order her out or let her stay in awkward silence.

[princeinexile]

But but but she can't-- yell at his weak and miserble face! When he's not strong!


...okay she can. Shut up.

HE says nothing, looknig down at the floor now. Awkward silence seems to the choice here.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

She may pity him at times and is certainly concerned, but Katara isn't about to pity him enough to let him act a fool.

When he looks down, Katara sighs again, looking down at her hands. But the scrape of a chair a moment later signals that she's standing and quiet steps are taken to the door.

She pauses at the kitchen, eyes ahead on the door, but her words are for him.

"...I'll come back tomorrow to try again."

[princeinexile]

"...fine," he says, defeated. She always seems able to undo him -- in combat, or in casual association. It's just not fair.

Life never is, though.

[allican-do.livejournal.com]

No.

But sometimes it's unfair in your favor.

A slight nod and she's moving again, out the door and shutting it quietly, down the hall and around the corner...

Where Katara stops, leans heavily against the wall and slowly sinks to the floor.